+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2
1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 16

Thread: SpongeBob Report

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,307

    Default SpongeBob Report

    Denial and working through the issues....

    SpongeBob Denies Reports that He's Gay

    SpongeBob SquarePants lashed out at Christian conservative groups today after they accused him of promoting homosexuality and questioned the undersea cartoon icon's sexuality. SquarePants also requested that the tabloid media respect his privacy during what he called "a difficult time."

    Cartoon icon calls James Dobson a “goofy goober”
    By Russell D'Arby, Arts and Entertainment Correspondent
    BIKINI BOTTOM—SpongeBob SquarePants is dismissing allegations by a prominent Christian conservative leader that the cartoon icon is promoting tolerance of homosexuality among children and may be gay himself. Bikini Bottom's best-known resident is also asking the tabloid media to respect his privacy, and that of his cartoon sidekick Patrick, during what Mr. SquarePants acknowledged is "a difficult time."
    This small underwater community has been under siege since last week when James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, condemned Mr. SquarePants for promoting a "pro-gay agenda." Dobson, who was in Washington DC attending various high-profile inaugural events, also attempted to 'out' Mr. SquarePants to major media outlets, noting that the cartoon star and his best friend Patrick are frequently seen holding hands.
    Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
    Dobson and other conservative Christian leaders are upset at a new video in which Mr. SquarePants and several other cartoon stars, including Barney, Big Bird, and Arthur, are seen singing and dancing in a "We are Family" children's video. The video, produced by the We Are Family Foundation, is intended to promote a message of tolerance and diversity among school children.
    While Dobson did not openly question the sexuality of any of Mr. SquarePant's co-stars, Big Bird and Barney are both believed to be gay. The two are said to have been involved, until recently, in a long-term relationship. Neither of the characters consented to be interviewed for this article.
    Dobson: meet ManRay
    While Mr. SquarePants has made a point of steering clear of politics—he refused to endorse either President Bush or democratic challenger John Kerry during the recent presidential election—he took the unusual step of issuing a public statement in response to Mr. Dobson's allegations.
    At a hastily called news conference in Bikini Bottom yesterday, Mr. SquarePants, who was flanked by Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs, tried to keep the tone light, starting off the proceedings with a joke. "Somebody call the police! There's a pants thief on the loose!" he told the crowd. But the cartoon star appeared noticeably drained, and soon struck a more serious note. He reminded Mr. Dobson that "licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets," and told the crowd of reporters not to worry. "Tomorrow we'll be back for more frolic and fun."
    Mr. SquarePants made no mention of his sexuality, but as he and Patrick were hustled off by Officer Nancy, Patrick was seen slipping his hand into Mr. SquarePants’ back pocket.
    Sacred sponge
    SpongeBob SquarePants is not the first cartoon character to come under attack by conservative Christians. In 1999, the Reverend Jerry Falwell declared that Tinky Winky, the popular purple Teletubbie, was probably gay because he carries a purse.
    While conservative Christian activists are hoping that their campaign against the cartoon figure will cause the We Are Family Foundation to shelve their plans for a pro-tolerance video, other Christian leaders seem to be distancing themselves from Dobson and his associates.
    At least one prominent religious leader sprung to SpongeBob SquarePants' defense yesterday, noting that a sponge figured prominently in the final moments of Jesus Christ. "A sponge was basically responsible for making His last minutes on earth comfortable ones," says Roy DeLong, Pastor of the Spring Hill Baptist Church in Spring Hill, KS. "It's right there in John: 19: 'A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips.'"
    "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henery Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
    Damn Hillary Clinton to the Abyss.
    I hate posers!


    *1992-1996 USMC Cpl
    *12/2005 - present USAR Medic PL/Human Terrain Teams
    "I might not be Airborne however, it says it on my right sleave!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,307

    Default

    "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henery Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
    Damn Hillary Clinton to the Abyss.
    I hate posers!


    *1992-1996 USMC Cpl
    *12/2005 - present USAR Medic PL/Human Terrain Teams
    "I might not be Airborne however, it says it on my right sleave!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    UNDER THE SEA
    Posts
    6,900

    Default

    Damn son....

    It is about time you stepped up....

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Age
    41
    Posts
    2,963

    Default



    I find it rediculous that the story about the acusations regarding the cartoon character is actually true.
    Wall Street Congress Illegal immigration Hollywood ObamaCare



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Cow town
    Age
    29
    Posts
    5,474

    Default

    I can personally vouch for Sponge... I've seen him lay pipe to many a dead hookers and midgets... Although, I wondered why he always wanted me to get a front row seat... his shows are like watching Shamu... you better have an umbrella or else you're gonna get soaked...
    _______________________________________
    Some people dial 911... then there are only a few that are 911...

    Gig'em Aggies - Class '05



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    UNDER THE SEA
    Posts
    6,900

    Default

    SBD82....
    IT is commonly refered to as a Sponge bath, and all the dead girls love it...

    Well...I think, they are always really quiet and shy and don't say much.
    I like it that way, less duct tape wasted covering their 3rd point of entry!

    But on a serious note, let Dark win this round.
    It is the first post I have seen him make since he got out of the San Quentin that acutally made sense.

    I honestly think that shower time got the best of him.
    The part I don't get is why he never left the shower, EVER!!!!
    (The 2 hour straight hamstring stretch standing probably wasn't a good idea either)

  7. #7

    Default

    How many times can a guy "accidently" drop the soap? His Ma said she kept sending him soap on a rope so there's really no logical explanation.
    <a href=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n36/SpongeBob_069/NewSBSNG.png target=_blank>http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n...9/NewSBSNG.png</a>

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    UNDER THE SEA
    Posts
    6,900

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AbnJack View Post
    How many times can a guy "accidently" drop the soap? His Ma said she kept sending him soap on a rope so there's really no logical explanation.
    There is one my good buddy....

    When the doctors took him into ICU for surgerical repair of his colon (I guess it really took a pounding)...
    They notticed rope burns around his neck.
    They speculate he hung himself with above mentioned ropes just before he let the jelly fish free...
    Multiple burns indicated this happened multiple times...

  9. #9

    Default

    Think his Ma was in cahoots? She kept supplying the rope..... hmmmm........she did say her special boy was a swinger....
    <a href=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n36/SpongeBob_069/NewSBSNG.png target=_blank>http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n...9/NewSBSNG.png</a>

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    UNDER THE SEA
    Posts
    6,900

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AbnJack View Post
    Think his Ma was in cahoots? She kept supplying the rope..... hmmmm........she did say her special boy was a swinger....
    No doubt bro...

    His MOM, weighing 350 + before her first breakfast, never could make it on the cheerleading squad at any high school...

    Dark was head cheerleader for the San Quentin Pirates his second day there...


    It is just simple jealousy!!!!

  11. #11

    Default

    Dark was head cheerleader for the SQ Pirates his second day there...
    Yeah...she said she handmade his cheerleaders skirt.....eerrrr ...it mighta been she said she had her hand up his cheerleaders skirt.
    <a href=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n36/SpongeBob_069/NewSBSNG.png target=_blank>http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n...9/NewSBSNG.png</a>

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,307

    Default

    That's it Jack! I am sending pictures of you getting spanked S and M style by Cindy Sheehan to your local VFW.

    Have a nice day.
    "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henery Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
    Damn Hillary Clinton to the Abyss.
    I hate posers!


    *1992-1996 USMC Cpl
    *12/2005 - present USAR Medic PL/Human Terrain Teams
    "I might not be Airborne however, it says it on my right sleave!"

  13. #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Darksaga View Post
    That's it Jack! I am sending pictures of you getting spanked S and M style by Cindy Sheehan to your local VFW.

    Have a nice day.
    <a href=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n36/SpongeBob_069/NewSBSNG.png target=_blank>http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n...9/NewSBSNG.png</a>

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Fort Livingroom
    Age
    36
    Posts
    6,520

    Default

    I remember last year Darksaga, when you told me you thought Sponge was gay after you told me his dick tasted like shit.

    When the time comes in life that you find yourself asking the quesiton "Why?" The answer will always be the same.

    "Because Jesus Hates Legs."

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,307

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Skyshark View Post
    I remember last year Darksaga, when you told me you thought Sponge was gay after you told me his dick tasted like shit.

    You really have been working too many hours haven't you.

    Delusional Psychosis?

    I have a nice cool room to place you in where nice men will give you a jacket so you can hug yourself and recieve the loving Cal denies you.
    "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henery Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
    Damn Hillary Clinton to the Abyss.
    I hate posers!


    *1992-1996 USMC Cpl
    *12/2005 - present USAR Medic PL/Human Terrain Teams
    "I might not be Airborne however, it says it on my right sleave!"

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts