"He was a SOT-A Soldier doing exactly what SOT-A's do," his commander said, "fighting alongside his special forces teammates in the most difficult, dangerous places while carrying heavy loads of technical gear that saves lives of our forces and takes the lives of our enemies."
1SFG(A) Commander speaking about Sgt Andrew "A.J." Creighton
Let's get this back on track. Did I ever tell y'all abut the last time I was over here (in the 'Stan) and me a couple of my guys rearranged some "area beautification". Yeah this dipwad had some of our Satellite guys paint these rocks white and arrange them into their team call sign which was G81 (remember that ).One day me and one of my highspeeds were coming in to work and looked at this crap and said "Man that's friggin' GAY" and then I'm sure the idea hit us both at once for a little night op. We ended up taking the bottom of the 8 and angled it by the middle of the 1 which ended up looking like GAY spelled out with their rocks. I had to fess up to it the next day to save my guys but my Platoon Sergeant and Platoon Leader thought it was hillarious. Not the dumbest thing I've ever done or will do but as one of the grown up leader types I shouldn't have participated and just delegated .
In basic we spend Sundays cleaning the barracks. There were about 12 of us per room if I remember right. Well we would take turns with one or two guys sleeping behind their wall lockers. When it was my turn I woke up to complete silence. I was alone in the barracks. It was linen turn in day and when I looked out from behind the locker everyones linen was gone except mine. I heard the company being smoked behind the building in the quad. I was scared shitless but got my stuff and snuck down there. Since the drill sgts back was to the barracks and I was between him and the phone booths he could not see me. Soon after I snuck down to the sidewalk he told them to fall out and I just blended right in. Nobody ever knew except the assholes who left me up there.
Another time comes to mind. I was screwing around with another soldiers wife. He was stationed in Alaska but found out and told my Bn CSM. Well he pulled me in his office and had a few choice words for me. Not long after I got orders from Korea. Hmmmmmmmm
I've seen an awful lot dumb shit when I was in the 82nd Airborne Division and at Ft. Bragg.
We had IG inspection of the barracks on a Friday. Most of us had the better part of each night preparing out rooms and lockers for the inspection. I had to take my roommate by the nose all week long to get his locker and his personal clothing items folded nice and neat and clean into the drawers and we both had out Class A's dry cleaned and then made sure each and every ribbon and badge was spotless. We had a television and carpet that we laid ourselves and we shampooed that also and then went over the room with fine tooth comb each night before we'd got to bed prior to friday's inspection. All good, looking good, even got haircuts on Wednesday of that week and took our uniforms for friday's inspection to Kims to have all new name tapes and rank and wings and DUI's sewed on to get our garrison uniform in perfect shape. Even had them both starched and pressed for the inspection.
Day arrives and we finaly get the old guy walking into our room. As he looks around he admires how our uniforms are strack right down the spit shined jungle boots and even his admiration of some 8x10's framed of me rappelling at the rappel towers on base. It's going well, and I've managed to divert his attention to our uniforms and the pictures on the wall.
What I didn't do was empty the trash can next to the desk, which was spotless and even had 82nd Airborne stationary laying out ready for letters home. When he looked into the small trash can next to the desk he started lauphing his ass off histerically..............The SGM asks, "What's so funny Sir?" and he replies................"Your boy's sure are clean, neat, and strack, but that condom in the trash can tellls me that one of the two has had a lady in the barracks and that's agains't division policy, and it's not exactly what I wanted to see at 0900 in the morning.
Somehow, he still handed us two division coins and said "take the rest of the weekend off "
I got busted with the trash can on an IG inspection. Unfortunately it wasn't a rub...it was a 1/2 full ashtray under the trash bag. Those CSM's are nosy.
Be vewwy, vewwy quiet....I'm hunting posers!
Inspections.......GOTCHA!! I had my two quart canteen on my ruck FULL of water on an inspection one time . The CSM came by looked at my ruck and was like "WHAT THE HELL!?!?" I thought my Platoon Sergeant was going to either faint or vomit. The good thing is that pretty much ended mine and everyone else's inspection. Nothing more came of it either which I thought was very strange for 82nd Signal Battalion. I also pee'd in my Section Sergeant's gas tank in Germany . There were three of us coming back from where ever the hell we were coming from and one of us saw her, yeah her, car and said we should smash the windows but I said no because it was a nice car and her insurance would pay for it. Not to mention the amount of fallout for something like that happening on a post as small as the one we were on would be epic. So then the idea of peeing on the car came to mind but then peeing IN the car was a lot better . She was smart enough to have her windows up and doors locked but no locked gas tank or locking gas cap. The three of us took turns whizzing in her gas tank and then waited in some bushes for her to come back to the car. We ended up sitting in those bushes for almost two hours, until almost three in the morning , for her to get back to her car with some OBVIOUSLY hammered drunk dude and the damn car started and drove away like nothing happened. Funny thing is that following Monday on our way out to PT there was this wretched stench in the quad and she was sitting in her car with it idling. Everyone was walking around asking what the hell that stink was but we knew, we knew .
One of the dumb things I did in the Army while down in Panama; my company C Co. 1/508th got called out to guard the Tank Farm for one week. On the first night there my SQD LDR comes to my fighting position and orders me a buddy and this other guy from our PLT to go up to the Front Gate for guard duty that night. Being a young PFC I came up with the idea of using the phone to call for pizza, from the local pizza delivery people Su Pizza. I made the order and hoped to hell that the Bn or Brigade Officer of the day didn't come by catching all 3 of us chowing down on some pizza; if he did all of us would've been in some serious shit.
Nothing happened and we enjoyed our pizza; we left some leftovers for our relief in the morning. I don't know if they did it or anyone else; but that fucking pizza sure beat an MRE for dinner and breakfast.
"Lobotomy means never having to say you're sorry."
Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000
Hendo, a harpoon gun and free pizza sounds like good times.
"Lobotomy means never having to say you're sorry."
Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000
When I was at Bragg..myself and a good friend went downtown to Hays St. to local watering hole....we stayed a while and he picked up a Lady Of The Night. He asked me to drive his car (66 GTO) any way he got in the back seat she got in beside me.
We were going down the road about 55mph and he came up with this dumb shit about us being MPs and we were going to take her on post and lock her up if she did'it give he and I some of that pussy for free....well the next thing I knew the bitch was standing in the door and jumped out he said God don't stop,I saidwe looked in the news paper for a few days we never saw any thing about it, I just knew we were going to jail, after that I never went back to town with him.Talk about a real dumb ass.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don't matter
and those that matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Suess
There was this Sergeant from Paris Island that kept coming to Savanah to chap......(sp) his troops. We had a few donnybrooks and investigations. Details upon request.
C Co., 1st 75th, 80-81. RS 5-81
I earned my Black Beret!!!!
All days are good. Some are better than others though....
If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill
Lo, there do I see my father. Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters, and my brothers. Lo, there do I see the line of my people, Back to the beginning! Lo, they do call to me. They bid me take my place among them, in the halls of
Valhalla! Where the brave may live forever!
I was in Division a couple months, a shiny new E-2, and still scared shitless of every rank above me. We were in this big training excercise on Bragg and I was on some sort of road block pulling security, when this hummer pulls up with fucking stars on. Things start racing through my head, "don't fuck this up, salute, don't salute you are in the field and could endanger his life if it was real, it's not real you fucking idiot, salute"....too late...Division CG (Johnson?) says to private "What, we don't salute Generals around here anymore private?" Pivate salutes, gets ass chewed by squad leader and pushes fire break sand and flutter kicks for a very long time. I did learn though, I saluted Generals after that.
So, whilest I was a young PFC, we had this E-7 that ran one of the other platoons. I could imitate him so well that when I yelled down the hallway his platoon thought it was him.
So one sunday I decided to have a little fun...I yelled down the hall "Let's go dawgs, everybody out side in duty uniform.!!!"
They all went outside hauling ass to get dressed and formed up. NCO's and everybody.
I pushed all day sunday, monday and part of tuesday. Wednesday I did grass drills and thursday I painted second platoon's AO. It was worth it.
My platoon sergeant laughed his ass off. But didn't help me out any though.