Random Thought of the Day

[Guymullins]

An Irish thought:
A thermos flask keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
How do you suppose it knows the difference?

[lz_NorthPole]

An Irish thought:
A thermos flask keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
How do you suppose it knows the difference?

OH SHIT! IT's ALIVE... And smarter than the average Obama Kool-Aid Drinker...

[zanshin]

Why men don't get jobs writing advice columns.

image0011.jpg

[lz_NorthPole]

Senior health care solution,according to Maxine Senior Health Care Solution So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison. There you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore. IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!

[Falschirmjaeger]

hehe....

[Garda11B1P]

Wow -11 degrees when I went to work at 0600 hrs now its -5 four hours later. Well at least the wind isnt blowing........yet.

[VB]

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this--ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old grand-son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with BUDWEISER than Kay.

[Ironic-Mike]

My Mother had an answer to No.5.

I never did learn her secret. I just sort of fold it, not worrying about how neat it is or what. Nobody is going to see it stashed in the drawers. So why should I care if its a mess?

Today is the Anniversary of my Mothers Death. I'll be putting flowers on her grave this afternoon. I should be allowed to do this once a year without getting any wisecracks:


Now if I knew where my Father is buried (nasty divorce when I was a toddler) I'd put flowers on His grave once a year too.

[Ironic-Mike]

Oh, my aching back!

For some unknown reason, defined as I haven't done any heavy lifting lately, my back has been hurting me something fierce lately.

Today my back is stiffer than a pedophile at a nudist Girl Scout Camp.

[AirborneCA]

Fringe is back on. And I am happy.

[blackflagg509]

Fringe is back on. And I am happy.

I'm happy too, except for the fact that the local FOX affiliate came in for the last 5-6 minutes of the show and all we got to see was the news anchor prepping for his broadcast; which means we didn't see how the show was resolved pissed me and the HH6 off bigtime.

[Ardent Lady]

I'm tired of being cold. This isn't the Florida I signed up for.

[Guymullins]

Mary Poppens showed her tits in a film once.

Mary Popouts?

[Weazle23]

Corporal is the worst rank in the Army.

[Zimmy]

I always thought butterbar looked bad.

Don't know shit and everyone knows it (even smirking privates), all those boring classes for nothing, shit details because you're every other O's bitch.