So I'm up too late after eating too much dark chocolate before bedtime and can't sleep, which leads me to surf the internet, which leads me to this:
...particularly the last line
Accidental penis shooting accidents were also reported in Florida, Arizona and Washington in 2012, the Independent revealed.
Which lead me to Google "Accidental penis shooting accidents",
Which made me think that men who don't use holsters and shoot off their own penises probably don't deserve one anyway, as Darwin would prefer that they do not reproduce.
Don't shoot off your own penis - use a holster.
And don't eat too much dark chocolate before bedtime, then you don't have to read about "Accidental penis shooting accidents".
This has been your public service announcement for the evening.