RJ- prayers out. Hang in there.
RJ- prayers out. Hang in there.
We are all praying for a full recovery. All the best to you and your wife. AIRBORNE! GERONIMO!!
Prayers out RJ. My wife had a single masectomy several years ago. It bothered her a lot for a while. She told me she was glad she was older when it happened. When she was younger it would have really devastated her.
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing is worth a war, is worse. A man who has nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance at being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."- John Stuart Mill
This is terrible news. As you might remember my wife had breast cancer and a single mastectomy 3 years ago. The treatment was a resounding success yet turned our lives upside down.
Some things to be aware of that may be coming down the pike at y'all:
1) Lots more treatments. Even when they get it all, your life will be filled with tests, checks, doctors, reconstructive surgeries, and other requirements that will devestate your normal routine for a long time.
2) Scary premonitions and forecasts. Life will seem darker until you get the green light in a couple of years. People will act doomy and sad about the diagnosis unintentionally. A doctor saying "we'll see what the lab says" or "I need to reexamine something" will become terrifying and negative instead of proof a capable and experienced professional is doing his best to fix the problem. Don't allow fear and exhaustion to cloud your outlook. She especially will be susceptable to this. You have to be upbeat and positive even if you want to hit people, scream, or cry. I osccilated from being the Rock of Gibralter for her to lean on and being a dancing bear to cheer her up. Keep dancing.
3) Reduced mental capacity in your bright young and pretty bride (as you see her in your heart). Anesthetics, stress, fear, depression, poor diet, drugs, and poor rest will knock her down for a while. She will recover. Don't give up. Keep dancing.
4) Helpers. These are the people who will want to smother her with attention. You will at times need to be the Master of the Gates in providing access to your wife. It's ok to say no to family and friends who want to visit and help 24/7 or merely are part of a continous lineup. This can be exhausting. Please remember that she chose you to spend the rest of her life with. Not her sister, brother, or high school playmates. Don't allow yourself to be pushed out of the scene by a well wishing busybody. Absolutely no negative people get access. Read them the riot act about it. THrow them out if need be. Keep dancing.
5) You need breaks too. When your mountain is worn to a molehill and your tap dancing shoes are filled with blood, take a break. Go fishing, catch a sports game, find a buddy you can vent to (we have a few options here), go to a bar for an hour, go to the park/lake/ocean/mountains/whatever is in your AO and read a book/pray/or just enjoy response free silence. I experimented and found stopping at a bar on the way home from work everyday for an hour was my favorite. Nobody in the bar knew me or about the cancer and it provided 3 cold beers, pleasant conversation, and a cancer free hour of normalcy. It was my secret time and I relished it. Use those helpers you have been regulating. That's what they want/need to do and it will provide variety in your wife's life and relief in yours. Take a break, You dancing Bear, you.
6) Insecurity. My wife had humongous and magnificent 48GG titties. Now she is a 40B+. It devastated her natural flirtatiousness and self confidence. Women worry too much that we are assessing them moment by moment with a critical eye as if buying a horse. They don't accept that we see them as we did in one magnificent love filled moment everytime we look at them. Same image everytime. She has recovered finally and gotten back on track. You know how to make her preen and strut. Keep doing it. 3000 compliments may fall on deaf or scornful ears, but you can chip away at the bitterness. Keep dancing.
Call me if you need anything, Brother. Don't hesitate to leave a message cause I don't generally answer unrecognized numbers. I'm probably not busy.
Last edited by Zimmy; 09-18-2012 at 01:53 AM.
Hey, All my Bros. Thanks for all the kind words, prayers, and good wishes. Much appreciated. Got her home just about an hour ago. She is doing pretty good. On some pain pills and pretty much wore out. Starting Sunday, a nurse will come by every day for 2 weeks, to flush the drain tubes, change bandages, etc. I get to pick the nurse! Yeah right, don't I wish. They have already talked to her about re-construction or bras with fake tits. She isn't going to do anything. She is fine with it as is, and so am I. We have been married for 50 yrs, so just having her still around is the only real priority.
Curt S-1, HHC, 3/325th ABCT 91-93 - Blue Falcons! FACEBOOK
“A citizen who shirks his duty to contribute to the security of his community is little better than the criminal who threatens it.” - Robert Boatman
Prayers still flowing....
Prayers from here Brother. Get her rested up.
ALL THAT WE ASK IS THAT YOU BE PERFECT AND FAST
A.F.&A.M. of the Drop-Zone
All the best to you and the wife. My mom had a radical mastectomy at age 38...so I can understand(as best as a man can)a little of what she is going through. She made a brave choice and when the dust settles she'll still be standing! God Bless you both!
"We deal in lead friend."...Steve McQueen,The Magnificent Seven 82d Abn Div: 1983-86
Retired NYS LEO/NRA Life Member
Colt Gov't & OM/Glock 19&26/Ruger SP101
Still Love Ya Sarah !! I will NOT Comply!
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
E co 505 PIR
D co 2/505 PIR
HHC 1/87 10th Mountain
Thanks again everyone. Had a RN from the Hospital come by today and will come by every day for a week. She changed the bandages and flushed the blood suction drains. After that I will have to do it, so she showed me how today. Good thing I am not queazy about blood and nasty looking incisions.
Prayers and Good wishes On the Way!
"Upon the demise of the best Airborne Plan, a terrifying effect occurs on the Battlefield. This effect is known as the 'Rule of LGOPs' .This is, in it's purest form, small groups of pissed-off 19 year old American Paratroopers. They are well trained. They are armed to the teeth and lack serious Adult Supervision. They collectively remember the Commander's intent as ' march to the sound of the guns and kill anyone not dressed like you.' "