The worst kind of Poser

[Skysoldier]

As a Vietnam Veteran, I have always had a problem dealing with other people who lie or try to embellish their service with bullshit.

I was never a hero,..... but I knew some true heroes during that war, and I hate it when someone tries to claim fame that is not theirs.

It is an insult to all the Veterans who accomplished the outstanding deeds of Valor in Vietnam.

But what really pisses me off is a totally new kind of poser that I meet more and more lately.

They are the lowest form of poser I have ever found. They are the guy's that never even served in Vietnam, and some who never even served in the Military at all.

I guess they think that it was so long ago that now they can tell lies and bullshit because all the real Vietnam Veterans are old and dying off, or maybe our minds and memories are failing us.

Anymore, I don't mention having served in Vietnam when meeting someone my age. I let them bring it up first, never letting on that I know anything about Vietnam.

And sure enough, they starting telling the same bullshit stories I have been hearing for years in bars.

Often times, they can't even tell me what their MOS was. Some even look at me with a look that says they don't even know what an MOS is.

They say they were an Airborne Ranger, and don't even know where the Ranger School is.

They can't even tell me where they were in Vietnam, or what unit they were served in.

I think most of them suffer from guilt, like posing can somehow relieve their inner shame for never having served.

I look for these guys everywhere I go. In Bars, at Airports, everywhere...........

I have spent years learning all I can about every unit that served in Vietnam, and where they were in Vietnam; but it isn't necessary, because these guy's are so stupid they can't even do a little reading on the internet and come up with a good story.

I usually end the conversation by telling them they are a lying sack of shit, and turn my back on them.

And true to form, every goddamn one of them will slink away, like the fucking cowards they are!

It has become like a sadistic addiction to me. I just love setting the ambush up, just like I loved setting up ambushes in Vietnam.

Am I crazy?????

There are more Vietnam posers out there than there were Vietcong in Vietnam. I gotta get my realease somewhere.

[CharliePC]

Seems like a scenario for a new reality TV series.... Bitch Slap the Poser!

[JP43]

Sky, I do the same as you, and when I get one, I bring the hammer down as hard as possible. Got a preacher a couple of weeks ago. Said he was in Nam, I says where were you at, he stammers and stutters a few before he says Saigon. I ask the MOS question, he gets a puzzled look on his face. I say, "Aw hell preacher, you weren't in Nam", turned and walked away. I called the local courthouse and he does not have a DD-214 on file. If I get my way, he won't be preaching around here much longer.

[Skysoldier]

I could write a guide to poser busting!

It revolves around asking the right questions. There are questions that only those that know can answer!

My favorite wrong answers are:

1. "Ugh, I didn't have an MOS." (Translation-they don't even know what an MOS is)

2. "I can't remember what unit I was in, it was too long ago." (Nobody forgets who they served with in Vietnam!)

3. "I can't remember where I was." (Ditto #2)

3. "Ah, it was classified and I can't talk about." (Jesus, even a guy that was a real spook won't use that line.......it just screams poser!)

4. "They lost my records, so I can't prove I was in Vietnam" (Shit, they lost my records several times, but they always made new ones, Personnel clerks weren't that stupid!)

But the best one I ever heard was......wait for it.....





















"I didn't have to go to Jump School because I had over 1000 skydives before I joined."

[sapperabn]

Here's a few more:

This is an actual conversation I had with a co-worker years ago in a bar after work .

1: I was a sniper (oh really???? how did you get into that ??? you wear glasses and I thought the eyesight standard was 20/20 )

2: I don't remember the forward thrust of the T-10 parachute ( there was none you dumbass, that was the MC1-1B chute that actually had forward thrust)

3: I was a sniper seconded to the CIA during Desert Storm ( that is when I punched him in his sniper glasses LMFAO)

Oh well, I was young then. I'm a FOG now. No swinging punches now but I still like too catch 'em out too.

[Recon133]

I seldom go out with wearing my 82nd Abn cap and I often get asked if I am a Nam Vet. This is something that has just come about in the past several years. Maybe people are finally appreciating what our Vets did in Nam. Actually I am almost too old to be a Nam Vet. I would have been 38 when it ended.

[vnvetret]

I wear my 101st Airborne/Vietnam Veteran cap almost every time I go out -- especially to the mall or grocery store. I have been thanked for my service many times, and have met several WWII veterans, who were a joy to talk with; one of them, recently, was a WWII and Korea veteran, and I was almost embarrassed when he thanked me profusely for my service! As Bob Dylan sang during the Vietnam years (although, for sure, with a different meaning), "Times they are achanging!" It's about time! Now, if we could just get rid of the stench from Washington.

[AFTAC85]

Sky,

I love reading your tales of busting guys out. Its suprising how many guys you would find here at college that pose being in the military currently. Being a veteran of the Army and Air Force it makes it even easier to pick out the tool bags. I also have two roommates from the marines and navy. All of us have served in combat and have made a sport of busting out assholes that want to feel better about themselves. The worst is when they come into our home, commonly known around town as "The Vets House", and brag about their extreme valor with "black ops" units in Afghan and Iraq. They stories usually get more and more ridiculous as they continue, which we usually let them make their own beds and then destroy their fantasy world in front of their girls. Its funny to see them cower away pissed at us for busting them out, but whats better than that is the amount of girls stay with the real men that frequent our residence. A few of the best lines I've heard around here will follow,

1. Random Guy #1: I was a Ranger, until I hit my CO during a mission.
Me: Oh really, What Battalion?
RG #1: The 76th Rangers.
Me: Uh huh...I thought it was the 75th Regiment.
RG #1: No it was the 72nd then we became the 76th.

At this point about 10 Vets are surrounding him and kindly persuaded him to get the fuck out of our house.

More:

"I'm a 1SG with the Osama Bin Laden Tracking Unit" (He was about 20 years old)

"I was a sniper in the marines. (5 min later) I was a Green Beret in the marines."

All told, we've seen more Rangers, SEALs and Delta guys around here than you can imagine. It's just frustrating and depressing to see how many people are so ready to claim something they have never and will never have the guts to earn.

[Lower_Jumper]

More often than not, I run into truthful and humble veterans. Just 12 hours ago, I encountered a man working at Walmart. He noticed the shirt I was wearing an inquired about it. I explain in brevity then asked about his service. The young man told me he was a leg in Signal. He told me he served between 2005-08. He never deployed. He readily told me he didn't do much in the military. I shook his hand firmly and thanked him for his service.

He was typical of the people I normally encounter. That is not to say I never run into fakes. I'm sure I've shared a tale or two on APO about my few interactions with them. It's more of an irritant than an outrage though - at least for me. I see them as pathetic rather than agenda driven egomaniacs or evil doers. Yes, they are honor thieves and merit derision and I never part company without letting them know they are liars. However, I have yet to have a physical encounter. I'd rather not but I would certainly do my best to knock out their fucking teeth if provoked.

Good job staying vigilant. And thank you for protecting the honor of our service.

`

[blackflagg509]

I rememeber when I worked as a site security guard at a Lockheed Martin Design facility in Boulder, CO years ago and enjoyed the fact that many of the other guards were Vets as well. The only guard I had problems with was one who claimed that he worked on the USS Nimitz as an ATC; I asked him on several occassions "Why the Fuck wasn't he an ATC at Denver's Arport instead of being a lowly security guard?" He would always reply with a stammering rambnling response as to why he wasn't one earning the big bucks. It all came to a head one night before shift when he was BSing about his job and I had too much; I basically told him to stop before I punched him in the throat to shut his lying ass up. He never pulled that shit around me again; hopefully he learned a life lesson from me that night and stopped embelishing his career life stories.

[Hendo]

I've only gotten a couple of posers in my time and they were at the airport. There was this time my idiot roommate had gotten a COA (Certificate of Achievement) for a training exercise and thought it was an actual ribbon. He then went out and bought a Vietnam Cross of Gallantry and wore it to a Class A inspection. His team chief didn't look at him before the inspection and not many others were looking very closely at a PFC until our BN XO an actual Vietnam Vet saw him. He had an actual VGC and had my roommates entire COC from Team Chief to the Commander in a huddle getting chewed out. Then his squad leader comes to me talking about how I'm a Buddy Fornicator because I didn't stop him and as a Soldier of the Month I should have known he couldn't wear a COA. I told the squad leader that I did tell him and he just did what he wanted to. Then my team chief and squad leader backed me up and the First Sergeant told him that in the board I was able to recite every decoration you could wear in order from highest to lowest. Let's just say my roomdog had a hard couple of days as he ended up working for the XO the rest of that day and then again on Saturday morning. Funny thing is, later he went home on leave wearing jump wings and forgot to take them off when he got back so this led to more pain. Fun times .

[Bell]

Saw a Ranger Tab and 75th Regiment scroll on the back window of a pickup at the local Stop-N-Go. Naturally I wanted to meet this dude. I waited until he came out and it was obvious he wasn't Ranger material. I asked him about his decals. He said he thought they were cool. I went to my truck. Pulled up in back of him so he couldn't leave. Got my razor knife out, took out a blade and proceeded to scrape his decals off. He yelled and hollered and pissed and moaned. I told him to call the cops. When I finally got all of it scraped off I told him to follow me. I went to the back of my truck and showed him my decals. I told him I'd earned the right to proudly display my unit and award. I then told him that if I ever caught him with bullshit he never earned on his window again I'd bust it out. Then I told him to tell all his friends that "cool" stickers mean more than he can understand and to tell them that there's an asshole running around town with a razor blade just looking for idiots with decals they never earned so he can scrape em off.

He sure yelled a lot but phht. He was the typical pussy.

[zanshin]

Just before I medicalled out in '84 (Germany) I had a real pain-in-the-ass E7 in my unit (C 1/39th INF). He was a PSG and just liked to give young troops shit. He got a high-scoring young E3 on his first day in the unit and asked him to help him with his "mail-order education" they required for senior NCOs then. The kid said, sure I'll help -- and the fucker handed him the paperwork and told him to get busy taking the test. The kid backed out of it, and the SFC did everything he could to make the kid's life shit for the rest of his tour.

One day we were in greens for a rare inspection and this a-hole was parading up and down the hall of the old 1930s German Cavalry barracks we used in Baumholder, handing out shit left and right. I was the NBC NCO then, and a squad leader in the HQ platoon. This guy comes into my AO and tries to tighten up my troops, dinging them about anything he can, and talking shit about the old days "when he was in the Nam..."

Well, being in greens, he was wearing ribbons, and there was NO Vietnam Service or Campaign ribbon on his chest. I called him on it right there in the hallway in front of my troops. "You're out of uniform, Sarge," I told him -- you aren't wearing the proper decorations for a Vietnam veteran."

He started stammering about he was attached as an Army payload specialist to an Air Force unit out of Guam or some damn place, and wasn't authorized, so I should not question my betters. But what he didn't know was that had come up on my E6 Board, and I told him how the regs said any service member who operated inside RVN airspace or was attached to a unit that operated in and out of RVN during the war was authorized the Vietnam Service and Campaign medals, and as such he should put in for them and to get his record straightened out. "It will help you when you board for E-8," I grinned. We all KNOW any career SFC that was authorized awards and decs would bust his hump to make sure he got the credit on the books.

That fucker never wore the ribbons or a right sleeve patch for the few months I was still there, and after I got out I heard he got busted for selling food stolen from the mess hall with a civilian KP woman he was screwing after his wife went home for Christmas. (He was reported by the kid he tried to make take his continuing education tests for him.)

[snykypyt]

Some silly old goat started asking me some baited questions about my decals.
Real sharpshooter, he was.

I told him to mind his own business.

[Wannabeairborne]

Had a run in with a guy in a bar the other night...I was in a Pub in Renton and I started a conversation with this guy about a weird accent he was using and he goes on to say his accent is from everywhere, I notice he is sporting a long version of a high and tight so I ask him if he was in the military, he said yeah, Army. So I ask him what he does, says he can't tell me...a few drinks later he mentions he's a 96B, but also had told me he was Special Forces and training for Delta Force.....he kept using acronyms like FUBAR and BOHICA during conversation which no one else I talk to who's prior or current military uses in daily conversation...So I asked him where he was stationed, he tells me Ft. Lewis. I asked why he drove over an hour from there to go to a bar, which he couldn't conjure an answer...then I asked why his MOS wasn't an 18 series if he was SF, said they made an exception...then he told me he had to use the restroom and I never saw him again...fraudster?